By: Jane Atkinson

Recently, it was reported that Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stangerâ€s advice was to “dumb it down” if you wanted to snag your man.

Really?

Is this what fabulous, intelligent women are reduced to these days…. games?

Ya, Iâ€m gonna pass on the millionaire, Patti, especially if heâ€s looking for a vacuous bimbette to serve as arm candy.

And gentlemen, I would be surprised if you werenâ€t questioning this as well. If youâ€re going to spend the next 20, 30 or 40 years with someone, wouldnâ€t you like to have an intelligent conversation once in awhile?

FULL DISCLOSURE: On my path to finding my perfect partner, on many occasions I thought, “What am I doing wrong?” In sheer frustration, Iâ€m pretty sure I might have tried something as ridiculous as dumbing it down.

Fortunately, it dawned on me right around my 40th birthday.

I wasnâ€t truly open to love; I was way too comfy and safe in my stylish little condo built for one. I had a successful consulting business, travel, great friends and family. The walls had gone up and even though I paid lip service to wanting true love, I really kept it at bay.

Weâ€ve all heard that amazing Marianne Williamson quote, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”
And fearful I was. I was playing small and safe in my little cocoon.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

Intelligent ladies, I challenge you.

I challenge you to check in and ask yourself if you are playing small. What is it that you truly want?

I think after a while so many of us start to think, “Iâ€m just going to be happy being by myself,” or “I had my one true love; thatâ€s it for me.” And for those who are married to “the job,” letâ€s really think about that. Is the job going to come and visit you in the hospital when youâ€re 80? Ah, no!!!

And, you know, if you really are happy, then thatâ€s cool. I do believe that itâ€s possible. But if youâ€re holding back out of safety, I challenge you to break free and really go for it.

LETTING GO: One of the final steps in my own journey was letting go. My girlfriend, Kris, was at the end of a harrowing divorce and she came up from Minnesota to join me at the lake for a chickâ€s weekend. We drank wine, made fabulous dinners and went out dancing every night. Our mantra was to have a great time with no attachments, to let go of old patterns.

So even though we were surrounded all weekend on the dance floor by a basketball team (a.k.a. The Tall Boys), weâ€d leave the bar by ourselves laughing all the way home. We never once thought, “I wonder if that guy likes me?” We stuck to the mantra despite an abundance of opportunity.

At the end of the weekend, we went down to the beach with a piece of paper, pen and barbeque lighter in hand. At sunset, we sat and wrote out what we wanted to let go of in our lives. A couple of the things on my list were “the comfort of being single” and “playing small in my life.” When our lists were done, we held a little ceremony, dug a hole in the sand, and burnt them.

GAME CHANGER: Once I gave myself permission to be the best version of me (intelligence and all) and to truly be open to love, I was liberated.

Two weeks later, I met my husband, John.

Did I marry a millionaire?

No, I didnâ€t. But Iâ€ll tell you what, I feel like a million bucks every morning when I wake up and step into a life where I can be myself. And when my husband looks at me with love and respect, well, thatâ€s just sweet, sweet icing on the cake.

Jane Atkinson is the author of The Frog Whisperer: A 3-Step Approach to Finding Lasting Love. For more information go to:

The post Don’t Dumb it Down to Snag a Guy first appeared on River View Observer.

For instance, professional golfers on tour with the Ladies Professional Golf Association (LPGA), Laura Diaz, Jill McGill and Kristy McPherson have a passion for the game of golf – and also for pairing delicious food and wine. These LPGA players make perfect pairings of their own, by matching their favorite simple recipes with food-friendly wines, like varietals from California’s Mirassou Winery(r).

Kristy McPherson, LPGA Tour member since 2007, suggests that on a hurried evening, a warm and toasty Vegetable, Pesto and Smoked Mozzarella Panini and Pinot Noir make a perfect pairing for a light supper.

For more LPGA players’ recipe pairings and wine pairing ideas, visit www.mirassou.com.

Did you know that Mirassou is the official wine of the LPGA? To celebrate this pairing, Mirassou has announced the Perfect Pairings online cookbook, available free at www.mirassou.com. The cookbook features delicious recipes and wine pairings from LPGA Tour members, along with video golf tips from the pros.

Vegetable, Pesto and Smoked Mozzarella Panini
Pair with Mirassou California Pinot Noir

Prep time: 15 minutes
Cook time: 30 minutes total

8 large, thin slices portabella mushroom
8 very thin slices red onion
4 very thin lengthwise slices zucchini, halved
4 large, very thin slices peeled eggplant
Olive oil and garlic salt
4 large strips roasted red pepper (about the size of the sandwich)
8 slices grainy bread, sliced 3/4-inch thick
2 tablespoons pesto
6 ounces smoked mozzarella cheese, thinly sliced

Brush mushrooms, onions, zucchini and eggplant lightly with olive oil. Cook in a large skillet (in batches) over medium-high heat for a few minutes on each side to lightly brown. Remove from skillet and sprinkle with garlic salt; set aside. Spread one side of 4 bread slices with pesto. Top with half the cheese, equal amounts of vegetables and the remaining cheese. Brush bread lightly with olive oil and cook in a panini press for about 5 minutes or until bread is golden and cheese is melted.

Makes 4 servings

Recipe tip: No panini press? Place sandwiches in a large skillet over medium heat. Press down with a large plate to compress sandwich and cook for 5 minutes. Turn and repeat.

Courtesy of Family Features

The post Food and Wine – Perfect Pairings first appeared on River View Observer.

                         The Joy of  Being Single

By Michael Douglas

If you’re successful, single and satisfied, you’re probably part of a growing breed of people who enjoy being ‘quirkyalones’. ‘Quirkyalone’ referring to someone who enjoys being single (but is not opposed to being in a relationship) and generally prefers to be alone rather than dating for the sake of being in a couple.
For the uninitiated, a ‘quirkyalone’ is a person who enjoys being single. Although not averse to the idea of a relationship, they would rather stay alone than date just for the sake of dating.

The concept originally began as a personality type. Among a diverse group of people who identified with it (married, single, divorced, or widowed) soon grew to become something more.

A new, articulated set of ideas on relationships expressed through vocabulary: quirkyalone, quirkyslut, and quirkytogether (the quirkyalone way of being in a long term romantic relationship).

Quirkyalone is not anti-love. It is pro-love. It is not anti-dating. It is anti-compulsory dating. Although quirkyalones enjoy solitude, and sometimes even need and crave it, they are not loners. They typically have a strong network of friends and most place a high premium on friendship. Some have even been known to bring friends on dates!

They are part of a growing population in our society who live full and fun lives without feeling the need for a formal material relationship. In fact many quirkyalones see no reason to date for the purpose of sex. Their approach to being with others has more to do with friendship without the need for a primary relationship. It’s their desire for independence, for any number of reasons, which precludes the necessity for a “significant other” in their lives.

It also spawned a holiday. International Quirkyalone Day (February 14, of course!) is a Do-It-Yourself celebration of romance, friendship, and independent spirit.
As the term’s use becomes more frequent in our culture, other terms such as “old maid”, “spinster,” and “confirmed bachelor” are facing extinction. However, even though this new all-inclusive term stands a good chance of catching on.

Whether it’s their need to invest themselves in a career or a mindset that simply cannot see themselves in a marital relationship, the message to the rest of us is that they should be both understood and accepted.

ARE YOU A “QUIRKYALONE?”

Always wondered why you like to be by yourself and why the opposite gender just doesn’t interest you anymore? Answer ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to the following questions to see how quirkyalone you are.

1) You have a talent for self-reflection.

2) You’re excited about a successful, interesting life with or without a mate.

3) You create and maintain chosen clusters of friends.

4) You see life as a big choose-your-own-adventure kind of thing.

5) You support the idea of dating but not necessarily for the purpose of sex.

6) You prefer solitude to a relationship where you have to restrain n essential part of yourself.

7) You have a general compulsion to leave a mark on culture or society, to express yourself either through art, business, literature, or even social activism.

8) You recognise the ways society dictates happiness, primarily through romantic love, and believe this approach to a human failing.

9) You have had a taste or glimpse of a great relationship/encounter, which intensified your desire to be open to a similar experience again.

10) Your talent to deconstruct of love songs is equal only to your vulnerability to them.

Answers:

0 to 3 “Yes” responses: Sorry, but you’re not a quirkyalone. You should sign up with an Internet dating service right now and dig out all the singles in your area.

4 to 6 “Yes” responses: You are a borderline quirkyalone. This means that you may still want to live with another almost quirkyalone and be a quirkyalone couple or might just want to sleep in your own room while your significant other sleeps in his/her own room.

7 to 10 “Yes” responses: You are definitely a quirkyalone. Instead of romancing another person, you will spend your life romancing life for all it’s worth. Along with a growing segment of a society who are committed to remaining single, you now can refer to everyone like yourself using one single word.

visit www.quirkyalone.net

The post The Single Life first appeared on River View Observer.